It’s weird how, when life throws curve balls, your new normal becomes your everyday normal, and getting back to actual normal feels so abnormal.

I’ve become used to going in for treatments every 3 weeks. For 1.5 weeks after a treatment, I’m somewhat worthless when it comes to work, among other things. Then, by the third week I’m used to getting my energy back and feeling “normal”, but with the nagging awareness that it won’t last long because another treatment is looming.

I don’t have another treatment looming. And it feels weird. Very weird. I’m happy about it, but it’s like I’m having… adjustment issues, for lack of better words to use. It’s like I don’t know how to plan ahead like “normal”.

Up next is radiation. I went for my setup scan. They lined me up and tattooed me with three little dots. My first tattoos. They said they’ll call me in two weeks to schedule out the 28 scans that lie ahead. I don’t have a chemo treatment looming, but I do have a month of radiation awaiting me. They assured me I could live fairly “normally” during this phase.

I have a little break from it all for two weeks, and then I have something to add to my schedule for a month. That’s how I’m trying to look at it anyway. A temporary addition to my schedule, and then I’m free again… for a little while.

This year is just a series of medical obligations. One right after another. I look forward to knocking these all out.

Stifle Me Not