It’s funny how life works in mysterious little ways. Right when I’m on the verge of not being able to see past the tip of my own nose, a little ray of hope shines in and catches my attention.
I gave up on any job searching for a week. Just for the week. I have been trying nonstop for 7 months. One week wasn’t going to kill me and my unemployment benefits ran out so… I gave up. And I know myself – it would only be a matter of time before I’d kick back into overdrive.
On Sunday, I visited my grandma for coffee. And somehow coffee with 87-year old grandma turned into a networking event. My uncle came to visit grandma too. He asked what I’ve been up to, and then invited me to his office to apply for a certain position that I’m apparently qualified for. It was all very odd.
On Monday, I visited him at his office, handed him and application and my resume and we chatted for a little bit. I saw opportunity in front of me. It all seemed so simple, but like it could grow into something bigger. I have no idea how exactly, but the knowing was there. It’s a part-time contract position with somewhat low pay and no benefits. But it allows for me to make enough money to pay the bills, be there for my kids before & after school, and keep my career moving in a positive direction while being in this state of transition.
On Wednesday, I got another damn rejection email from a job I had applied to a few weeks ago. It wasn’t anything that I wanted really bad and I had never even heard of the company. I just stared at it. Like how much rejection is a person’s own limit? It was discouraging.
On Thursday morning, I got my daughter and niece on the bus and went back inside to finish my coffee. My phone rang. I wasn’t hopeful, just annoyed. My hope of employers calling me had run out. It was a recruiter for a position I had applied to a couple of weeks ago, asking if I wanted to schedule a phone interview next week.
I hung up with the recruiter and within in five minutes my phone rang again. It was my uncle asking me to come interview with his boss next week.
Okay universe, I’m paying attention again. I have two opportunities to focus on next week. I can’t mess up both of them.
Stifle Me Not
I got another job rejection today. Via email. That was fun. One minute I’m spending some quality time with my son. The next minute I check the one unread email on my phone and my world crumbles. Again.
Luckily my son went out with his dad today, so I had some alone time to recover.
It goes something like this:
What am I doing wrong? Am I doing something wrong?
How do I not have a job yet?
Am I too old?
Am I overqualified?
Do I say dumb things?
How is this happening? What can I do to change it?
[insert ugly crying face and tears here]
I then get a grip and give myself a pep talk. Every. Damn. Time.
Some days I can take a full day to recover. Some days I take a few hours. Today was about an hour and a half. Then I had to pick up my daughter from school. I can’t pick up my kid at school with a tear-stained face and doom and gloom attitude.
Before I knew it, my son was home from time with his dad and it was dinner time. There was no use in moping around.
Tonight I applied to two more jobs.
I’ve applied to 28 jobs since the beginning of March and have maybe talked to two of the employers. I have not had a face-to-face interview with anyone yet. This is discouraging beyond belief. I went from never having time off and making almost six figures to watching the grass grow each day and making more peanut butter & jelly sandwiches than I have ever thought I would in my lifetime.
One things is for certain that I learned today: quitting is not an option. I have to keep trying for my kids. If it was just me that I was worried about, I may have given up by now. But nope, quitting is not an option.
Stifle Me Not
It has been 6 months since I discovered my husband’s secrets. That was a big rejection for me. For my own well-being, I had to reject him.
It’s been almost 3 months since I was laid off, being rejected from my own place of employment (that I didn’t care for overall, but needed the paycheck).
It is a regular basis that I get automated emails telling me that I’m rejected (in so many words) from yet another potential place of employment.
It is May. It is nice weather. This is the month every year when I start running, but I’m not feeling well. My body is tired, my sinuses are clogged, my head hurts. My body is rejecting me.
You would think that clearing all of this negative energy from my life would help lift me up, and some days it does, but I am learning that all the rejection is taking its toll on my body, mind, and spirit.
“I will get through it,” says my stubborn brain to all of this rejection.
Stifle Me Not