Category Archives: No

Moving Forward… Stalled

Argh. I’m trying to initiate some life changes and it’s not working. Try, try again.

Before I talk about that, let me first stay that my Crush Attack from my previous post has been my own personal roller coaster ride that has gone something like this:

He’s cute. I wonder if he likes me. I bet he thinks I’m cute. He’s never been married. He doesn’t have kids. He must be immature. He sucks. I’m stupid for even thinking about him like that. We work together. He called me today and sounded cute. Maybe we’ll live together some day. How stupid is that? I wonder if he’s selfish? Maybe he’s actually a nice guy? I wonder if his family is nice. This is never gonna work.

Am I 15 again or what?

Jeezuz, make the thoughts just stop. This has been going on for a month now and I haven’t seen him since the company Christmas party. How stupid.

Anyhow, onto other life developments… I put an offer on a house today. There was another offer. I lost. I countered. I lost that one too.

Frustration at its finest.

This house was great. It was move-in ready. I am move-in ready. We’d go great together.

My real estate agent sucks. I know this. I went to see 4 houses with him today and I wanted to ditch him at each one. He is not the proactive variety and he moves at the pace of a snail. The offer process on this house went something like this:

Initial Offer

Him: The original offer was a “strong” offer. Let’s offer $XX, which amounted to $100 over asking.

Me: No, let’s offer at least $1,000 to $2,000 over asking.

Him (after submitting offer): They took the other offer.

Me thinking: No shit.

Counter Offer

Me: I’ll go up $4,000 plus pay half of the closing costs.

Him: Okay

Him (after submitting offer): It’s not high enough. Do you want to go up by $5K more?

Me: NO!

_______________

Then he came back and wanted to know if I wanted to put an offer on a previous house that I looked at earlier in the day. I told him to get me the one I wanted.

No, he’s not getting guaranteed commission today by defaulting me to second best. He failed. I need a new realtor. I’ve had him since September and not once has he proactively sent me any properties. He’ll send me properties after I’ve sent him some that I like. Then he’ll say “what about this one too?”

Bare minimum effort. I’m done with that.

If something falls through with this house that I put an offer on, I’ll have to use him if I want it.

Otherwise, I need to think through my next move. The current state of my real estate situation is not working. I am not doing this.

Stifle Me Not

May 9th Lesson: I Can Say No and It’s Okay

Today I was supposed to go to an event. I agreed to go because 1) A friend invited me, 2) I am genuinely interested in the event and 3) I thought it may be a good networking opportunity – since I’m unemployed and all.

As it got closer to the date of the event, I quite simply didn’t want to go. I couldn’t pinpoint why it was bugging me. Was it because I couldn’t afford it? No, that wasn’t it. Was it because I was afraid of the unknown and wasn’t sure who I would meet?  Sometimes I can be shy about meeting new people and being in crowds, but that wasn’t it either.

I finally realized that, although I convinced myself of all these great reasons for going, I didn’t want to go for me. I was going to go because I said I would and I didn’t want to disappoint my friend. Today I did have family obligations and a bunch of yard work to finish, but the biggest thing was that I just didn’t want to go because didn’t want to go. It didn’t feel right. And here I was overthinking my feelings as usual. Why do I do that??? It’s okay to not want to do something, right?

I was about to send an email to my friend to apologize for missing the event, and oddly enough, I had an email from her saying she wouldn’t be attending. I was so relieved, and it was in that moment that her email confirmed my feelings were spot on – I was going to do something that I didn’t want to do and all for someone else, not for myself. Yes, there are plenty of reasons  why it would have been good for me to go, but I needed to listen to my feelings today.

Today I learned that I can listen to my feelings. I can say no and it’s okay.

Stifle Me Not