Today I accepted an offer on my house.

For $15K above asking price.

Uh, let me be clear that there must be some larger force at play here because there is no way I ever thought it would sell for the original asking price let alone for that much over.

I am still in shock. I signed the papers to accept the offer. I am dumbfounded. The buyer even wrote a letter that stated why he wanted the house so bad.

Not only did he put in an offer that high, but another buyer put in an offer for $10K above asking price.

Apparently the housing market is really really good these days? I knew it was good, but I didn’t realize it was going to be so fabulous that it would leave me speechless.

Today I also got a call to be interviewed on Thursday. It’s just for a contract job, but I don’t have room to be picky these days since I have to find a place to live in the next four weeks. Let’s hope my luck in the job market is as good as in the housing market.

Things are looking up. There are still a lot of unknowns, but I’m still standing so I guess I’ll keep moving forward.

Stifle Me Not

I often wonder at what point do I just lose my mind altogether? But no, I continuously remind myself to take it “one day at a time.”

“Things will get better.”

“There’s no such thing as perfect, so just roll with it.”

“Go with the flow.”

“I am in charge, I have power over my choices.”

“God doesn’t give you anything that you can’t handle.”

Right. Got it. Well, I finally moved into acceptance mode that my house was on the market. I committed to getting through it and moving forward. My house listed yesterday, on my birthday of all days, and I received multiple showing requests right away. I was able to get out of the house for one yesterday and had six scheduled for today. I couldn’t believe there was that much demand for people to see my modest little colonial home.

So I started to get excited and think of the possibilities if offers came rolling in. I was fully embracing the change. I often do, but what keeps happening lately is a punch in the face that leaves me dazed and confused. There’s been this grand detour lately. I can handle change, I can handle a detour here and there, but I’m baffled by how nonstop it is lately. I remember going years without one damn new thing happening. Life was boring, now it’s a daily surprise to say the least.

Today I had a big plan to take my two kids and two dogs to my sister’s house while six potential buyers walked through my house and peeked into my closets between the hours of 10 AM and 5 PM. Last night the house was mostly spotless so that I had little work to do in the morning. I went to bed around midnight, and as I’m about to drift off into a glorious slumber, I hear my 9-year old daughter in the bathroom. She was sick. The first hour was her thinking that she might be sick, sitting on the bathroom floor by the toilet just staring. By 1 AM she was definitely sick. I tried to help her the best a mama bear can. She proceeded to dry heave for the next five hours. Each time I was about to drift off to sleep, I’d awaken to gagging sounds that no mother wants to hear. And what mom should just stay comfy in their bed while their kid vomits their guts out? Of course I got up each time to make sure she was okay, got her fluids, told her I loved her, and then disinfected anything she touched and washed my hands.

By 7 AM she drifted off to sleep. I decided she was in no shape to go anywhere and her bed was the best place for her to be. I canceled all of the house showings for today. I couldn’t help but wonder why? And maybe I was overthinking it, but why on earth did I finally get excited to sell my house and it was quickly swiped away? Obviously I’m not going to force my kid to be sick in the car or away from home while strangers roam our house.

All of these life changes are messing with me. Throw in big detours and I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I decide I’m finally ready to get divorced, I lose my job a day before I’m supposed to file the final paperwork to my lawyer. You can’t come to a dissolution agreement without income.

I lose my job, I decide I’m okay with a little break from work and try to make the most of it. I try daily and weekly to job search and network and keep an open mind to new possibilities. I get a decent amount of bites, yet none of them are working out.

I finally decide that selling my house is something that can help move us forward, and I can’t manage to have showings because of a sick kid. I know sick kids happens, but a sick kid in the middle of July is kind of rare.

I vacillate between “I’m doing everything wrong” to “Life happens, I’m doing the best I can.”

Damn I’m trying not to throw a pity party for myself. Lord knows things can always get worse. But I would like a break. I stable freakin’ break. If a little stability could come rolling in, that would be amazing. It’s been 9 months of chaos. I’d just like to know where I’m going to live and work in the next couple of months. My kids would appreciate it too. It’s heartbreaking that my daughter wants to buy her school supplies and I’m hesitant because I don’t know if we’ll be living here or have an entirely new school supply list at a new school.

Throw me a bone universe. Please.

Stifle Me Not

I am trying so hard that it’s almost not worth trying anymore. Not in an “I give up” sort of way, but more of an “I surrender” way. I’m not sure what I’m surrendering to, the great unknown I suppose. All I do know is that what I’ve been trying to do is not working and it’s time to make a more drastic change.

I have been searching for a new job since early March when I was laid off. I have applied to almost 50 jobs in the last five months. I have had a small number of phone interviews and very few face-to-face live interviews. The positions that I qualify for typically require multiple interviews. I can tell that companies like me and are impressed with my resume, but I can’t seem to make it to that final job offer. I’m beyond frustrated. It was nice to have some time off for an extended period of time with my kids. I look at that as a gift, but the time has come where I need to continue making a living financially or it will cause my kids more harm than good.

Last Friday I met with a realtor. My house will be on the market this weekend, which is also my birthday. I never thought I’d have to list my house for sale on my 39th birthday because I can’t keep up with the mortgage. To make matters worse, my someday ex-husband just tore a major muscle in his arm and has to have surgery next week. When it comes time to actually move, I will need to get movers. I’m anxious and scared and looking forward to getting it over all at the same time. I want a new start, but I didn’t think it would be like this. Not like this.

A photographer came to my house today to take photos for the listing. My house looked great. My dogs and kids were curious about what was going on. My oldest has a lot of questions and I know she’s anxious about where she’ll go to school this fall. I keep trying to reassure her that it will be okay, but I honestly have no idea. I’m listing my house with no idea of where I’ll live next. If I can get a job in the next few weeks, I can simply find a new place nearby. I would have to do that anyway since my someday ex-husband and I are separated. If I don’t get a job soon, my unemployment benefits will be running out, so my father said I could live with him, but I can’t bring my dogs.

I can’t even look at my two dogs. There are a couple of people that offered to take care of them for me during this crazy transition, but that makes me so sad. They’re my dogs. My kids and I love them so much. I hate uprooting my whole family. I have moved so many times in my life and each time was hectic but not as challenging as this. I had no kids or animals then. It was just me that I had to worry about.

I keep wavering between wanting to move full speed ahead and wanting to throw up because of all the stress. I haven’t slept well the past few nights. I know next week is going to be rough having to keep my house clean/staged and leaving with the kids and two bigger dogs while there are house showings. I want to cry, but don’t have the time or energy to do that. I have things to do to keep moving forward. Moving backward is not an option at this point.

I’ve been through my share of life changes in the past 39 years, but never to the point of having my relationship, career, and living situation change all at the same time. I’m counting my blessings that my kids are healthy and happy right now as I try to make the best possible decisions to ensure they have a great life.

Stifle Me Not