Weak Moment

I had a weak moment.

I took my kids on a beach vacation. It was nice weather. Our flights (there and back) were delayed quite a bit, but overall we had a nice trip. We live in the north, so basking in some much-needed warm southern sunshine was such a treat. I have never taken my kids on vacation by myself. I flew one place with them last year (for a funeral), but we met up with other family members, so I wasn’t all alone as the only adult. This time I was the primary adult, and it was fine. Everything went just fine.

Everything was fine, until mid-week, after observing family after family with kids, a wife, and a husband. I remember those days – having a husband. The husband has certain roles – carry the heavy luggage, drive, watch one kid while the other one preoccupies your time, grill food, etc.

After watching so many families, I had that feeling return: loneliness and longing for a partner in crime. So what did I do? Yep, I fired up the dating app again.

This hasn’t worked out well in the past, so you’d think I would learn my lesson by now…

I started chatting with one eligible bachelor who seemed very nice. We chatted for four days, and then it dwindled. Maybe because I returned back to my usual life? I don’t know. The rush from the first conversations on a dating app is mind-boggling. And it’s amazing how it can fizzle out so quickly.

When I’m home and in my typical routine, I do not want for anything or anyone. Even when my kids go visit their dad, I truly enjoy the extra peace and quiet to myself. Occasionally I’ll get restless, but not life-changing I-Need-a-Man-Now restless.

So, due to having extra time on vacation, I had a weak moment of wanting someone to help carry a suitcase upstairs, grill me a burger, and drive the rental car. Ugh.

I’ve paused the dating app again. And I won’t be traveling anytime soon, so I should be safe from meeting random strangers online for awhile.

Stifle Me Not

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